Miracles Can Happen

So everyday for the past 7 1/2 years, since November 2008, I have had a headache.  Sometimes it is to a migraine level, while others it is just a constant, dull pain dead in the center of my forehead.  I have tried everything from prescription medications, to over-the-counter remedies, homeopathic remedies, and even Botox.  I have also modified my eating to try to eliminate these headaches.  I have had several tests run and there seems to be no particular cause for these headaches.  I have prayed for years that they would go away.  This past Tuesday, April 19, I woke up and noticed that my head didn't hurt.  For the past four days I have been headache free.  Everyone asks what I am doing differently and I have to reply, "nothing."  My true belief is that God chose this time in my life to free me of this pain because I have not changed anything.  That way I can give every bit of credit and praise to Him.  I am so blessed!

Spoke Too Soon

So last week I was talking about how great I feel even though I didn't get such great sleep.  Now, the lack of sleep is taking its toll.  I haven't slept well in close to a week.  However, I did get off the Prozac and switched to the Lexapro and can see a huge difference!  I am not nearly as withdrawn and am feeling much more sociable.

Strong Side Effects

So as anyone who knows me or has been reading this blog since its inception, I have a major difficulty when it comes to pulling my hair.  It is usually worse when I am stressed, but sometimes I just do it for no real reason at all.  Back in the fall I went on Prozac for my hair pulling, as well as just to ease stress that had come up at work.  While it was supposed to make me have more of a "no worries" attitude it kind of just gave me an "I don't really care about anything" attitude.  It made me feel reclusive and not want to be near anyone.  Not a good way to be when you have are a wife and mother and your family wants to spend time with you.

Fast forward to January/February of 2016 and me trying to get off my meds cold turkey.  Not fun at all!  I was nauseated and had awful migraines, as well as abdominal pains-basically all of the symptoms of withdrawal.   Oh joy!  At the beginning of April I decided to get back on the Prozac because my hair pulling was getting bad again.  Unfortunately as a result of getting on these meds I became reclusive and withdrawn again.  I could feel it but wasn't sure how manifested these feelings were on the outside.  Dan brought it to my attention so I had some choices to make.  Stay on the meds (which weren't helping anyway) or switch things up.  Back in the fall I was also prescribed Lexapro, which did not work for my hair situation so I switched to the Prozac.  Instead of going through withdrawals I am  going to try to switch to the Lexapro and see if it helps my disposition.  Will be relying on God (which I should have in the first place) to take care of the hair stuff.  He's got this!!!

Feeling Amazing Despite...

So yesterday everyone in our household got a new bed.  The kids got new twin beds on the floor (they had loft beds before) and Dan and I traded in our SleepNumber bed that we have had for close to 9 years for a new icomfort mattress.  Dan fell asleep almost immediately and based on his snoring (love him dearly but he did) he slept great.  I, on the other hand, felt like an insomniac.  Sleep was incredibly elusive last night.  Not sure if it was the new mattress or if I just wasn't tired.  I like a soft mattress and this new one is like sleeping at the morgue.  Am sure I will get used to it, either that or I will be couching it a lot.  Despite my sleepless evening I was eager to get up at 5:30 am and exercise and feel oddly energetic today.  Perhaps in the past I have been getting too much sleep and 5 hours is the magic number I need each night.

Struggling

So as most of you know I am a pretty self-deprecating person.  I rarely, if ever, say anything good about myself or claim to do many things well.  I do, however, feel that God has blessed me in my abilities as a photographer.  I truly have a love for it and it happens to be something that I think I do very well.   Someone that I consider a good friend gave me a hard time about being a good photographer and genuinely doubted my abilities.  This really hurt my feelings as I never say I do anything well.  I am still holding a grudge about this.  I know it is stupid but my feelings got very hurt.  Your friends are supposed to believe in you and support you.  I know this post probably seems insignificant but I guess I just needed a way to vent and have a bit of a Cathartic experience.  Thanks for listening!

Inventory

Making: A sad attempt at cupcakes over the weekend.  They imploded.

Cooking: Brown rice and green peas.  Trying very hard to do well with my gluten-free eating.

Drinking: Nothing at the moment.

Reading: Several things at once.  A few books on my Nook, a Mary Higgins Clark novel, and doing a few Bible studies.

Wanting: To not have a headache every day.  Hopefully my change in eating will help that.

Looking: At my clean apartment that I spent all morning working on.

Wasting: Food.  I only eat half of everything in order to keep my weight down.  Sometimes I save it to eat later but sometimes I just trash it.

Wishing: We could get a house-but it will all happen in due time.

Enjoying: Spring Break.

Waiting: For Dan to get home so he can fix the TV so Miller can play video games.

Liking: Being able to have the windows open so that the fresh air can come in.

Wondering: If my headaches will ever stop.

Loving: My awesome family.

Hoping: My kids grow up with a string sense of faith and a strong sense of self.

Marveling: At how independent my kids are becoming.

Needing: Nothing.  Life is good.

Smelling: Nothing much.  My nose is pretty stopped up due to allergies.

Wearing: Fleece pajama pants and a tank top.

Following: A few shows on Hulu.

Noticing: How tightly my jaw is locked.

Thinking: How blessed I am to have such an amazing life.

Opening: Boxes that keep arriving with birthday presents for family members.

Giggling: At the kids trying to make a cake by themselves in the kitchen.  (Don’t worry, several older kids are supervising.)

Feeling: Hungry.  It’s about time for a snack.

Appreciation

I'm back!  Haven't really had much to write about recently so I figured better to wait it out than write about something insignificant just to take up space. So, over the years Dan has had several crises of faith.  He goes through ebbs and flows of going to church regularly to not even wanting to set foot in the door.  A lot of these latter instances occur when he has lost a job or some other negative life experience has put him at odds with God.  Each time I pray that his faith will be renewed.  Recently, as I posted a week or two ago, we have all started going to church as a family.  I am aware that the devil attacks us when we are strengthening our faith.  This most recent attack came in the form of us getting our hopes up of possibly getting a house toward the end of the summer.  Dan did some research and found out we have to wait two more years before buying a house will be possible.  I prayed to God that this news would not shake Dan's faith.  I am so appreciative that his reaction has been one of positivity and optimism.  He is taking the news well having the attitude of, "Let's see what doors this opens up."