Reflections

So initially this blog was started to document my weight loss journey and my desire to do so in a healthy fashion.  As this new year has commenced and I am spending more time being reflective I realize that this blog is much more than that.  Today is a very odd day for me.  I am home alone and am watching a series on Netflix called "Don't Call Me Crazy."  It is about adolescents with mental illnesses and eating disorders.  I always knew I had eating issues, but I just kind of blew them off and would address them off and on as they arose.  Today I am taking back control of these disorders.  I will not let food control me.  I will eat when hungry and stop when I am satisfied.  No more overeating because it tastes good.  No more eating just because I'm bored.

Another issue I struggle with is my hair pulling.  I have been doing it for 30 years.  I have been able to stop in the past but have started up again due to stress, as well as depression.  I watched a documentary yesterday called "Cristina" about a woman who survived breast cancer, only to find out the cancer had come back and basically taken over her liver.  She was so excited to have hair after her first round of chemo was over with her initial cancer diagnosis.  All of her hair was gone by the time she passed away after her second bout with cancer.  She only lived 5 months after being diagnosed the second time.  I need to appreciate the hair that God has given me.  It is actually quite pretty and thick and curly when I keep my hands off of it and let it grow out.  After being inspired by Cristina's spirit and her positivity during her struggle, I am going to leave my hair alone, only to touch it when washing it or styling it.

Fighting these illnesses is a daily, truly a moment-to-moment struggle.  Being home alone today could pose a problem as I could indulge in negative behaviors with no consequences.  However I am self-monitoring my behavior and am doing a fabulous job today. God is my strength and prayer is SO very powerful!